Dust to Dust
by mimi932
Summary: Jim finally finds his mother


Dust to Dust  
Author: Mimi  
Rating: G  
Synopsis: Jim finds his mother.

_Feedback would be appreciated. This was written several years ago, since then I have moved on to other fandoms, but continue to enjoy reading and writing Sentinel fic, there is just such an abundance of material to work with. _

The sun shone through the window illuminating the many particles of  
dust that flew through the warm musty air of the room. The silence was broken only  
by the ticking of the mantle clock and the creak of the wooden rocking chair occupied  
by James Ellison.  
The air conditioning had been turned off in anticipation of the cooling temperatures as  
the autumn days quickly approached. He sat staring at the dust seeing more than most  
would, but not seeing anything really. The minutes ticked by and still he sat unmoving  
staring at the fading sunlight, lost in a world of his own making.

"Jimmy? Sweetie? Come on out, the game's over it's all right to come out now.  
Mommy gives up."

"Jimmy do you see that butterfly down the street, what a pretty color!"

"Jimmy, honey, the cookies are done, let's see how they turned out."

The last scene so real he could almost smell the gingerbread cookies that he and his  
mother had made so very many years ago, a lifetime ago in fact.  
The pictures continued flashing through his mind, scenes of childhood and the  
beautiful blonde lady that was his mother, the smile that lit up the room, the feel of her  
soft lips on his cheek giving him a good night kiss, all playing out in his head in the  
quiet room, where he sat alone, crying. The quiet was broken by a soft tapping on the closed  
wooden door.

"Mr. Ellison, I hate to disturb you, but I found this in her things and thought you might  
want to open it, before, well, anyway here it is. I'll leave you now." The woman quietly  
left the room closing the door behind her. Jim looked at the envelope she had handed him. His  
Sentinel vision noticing the yellow cast to the paper indicating its age and his sense of  
smell detected a faintly familiar odor. A sweet scent, that of honeysuckle and  
tuberose. A scent he hadn't smelled for well over thirty years, not since she'd left. He  
brought the envelope up to his nose and held it there savoring the scent and the  
memories that followed. Opening the envelope he removed the sheets  
of paper and unfolded them, not sure that he wanted to discover what secrets were  
revealed in their lines he went back to studying the dust that wafted through the air.  
Some minutes passed before an overwhelming need drove him to take up the sheets  
and begin to read.

_My dearest Jimmy,  
First and most importantly I love you, never forget that and never, ever doubt it, no matter what. _

_You and Stephan are the most important people in my life. You, however,are my special son. By the time you read this you may or may not have realized just how special you are. You have this wonderful gift, use it as it was meant to be used. Try to think well of me, your father tried very hard but he just  
never understood. At first I thought that he was the one for me, that he could calm my fears and  
relieve this burden that I carry. But I see now that it's not the case. I've  
found the person who can calm my fears, the one who helps control me when I reach the edge.  
He guides me. Jimmy, I hope you can understand that. He leads me through the night.  
I hope someday you'll find someone who can help you with this gift and make  
it the gift it was meant to be and not the burden it has been to me for so long. Your father won't let me take  
you and Stevie with m, he won't even let me say goodbye. So I leave under cover of  
darkness, praying that some good will come of my life and knowing that if it does it  
will be through you.  
Please, Jimmy, forgive me for leaving you. I hope that someday you'll understand and  
maybe, we can even be together, if not here, in a better place._

Love  
Mom

He wiped the tear away with the back of his hand and noticed the  
flurry of dust particles that the movement created. He stood watching the swirls  
as they ebbed across the room lost in the moment until the door eased open and a  
head peaked in.

"Jim, are you ready, the housekeeper gave me directions to the  
cemetery?"  
"Yeah, Chief, I'm coming."

Blair chose not to mention the reddened eyes and nose that his best  
friend sported or the tear tracks that lined his face, he knew that Jim would reach out  
when he was ready. The two men climbed into black SUV and headed away from the  
residential area Jim following the directions as Blair read them off. Several  
miles away they entered a cemetery and followed the driveway to a secluded grave site  
next to a large oak tree. The two graves were marked with a large black marble  
stone the names Grace and Guy Anderson, their dates of birth and death followed by an  
inscription that read, "Guide me, lest I fall behind and not be able to carry on."  
Blair looked at the cold marble and then at the man standing to his right a look of puzzlement  
and then the dawning of understanding lighting up the dark blue eyes.

It would have taken Sentinel hearing to have heard the muffled words  
that Jim Ellison uttered, but the words "I do Mom and I did' floated on the air and  
reached beyond the grave.


End file.
